BROKEN 2

14:18


Click HERE to read BROKEN 1 if you missed it.

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OK so here we are, it is time to settle this mess. I want to leave him I swear I do. Somehow my heart wants to say I'm pissed. Why can't I just walk away? what's the chance that he won't do it again?


She has asked me to seat, I have wiped my eyes a million times but the tears keep coming. How did I get this violent? Why did I have to hit her? I could have just done what I usually do, which is walk away but no, anger prevailed and I had to hit her. As I steal glances at her owing to the fact that I can't fully raise my face to look at her, I am more saddened. I had hit my joy, my pride my love my wife. Trust has been broken. I can't even trust myself any longer. I know I wont do it again but how do I show her?

Arrrrrggghhhhh! His remorse is irritating me. How can one show this much pain and sorrow just to obtain mercy. I am no god that I know. He just wont stop crying. He is handsome though. His nice cheek bones and  the tired sad look on his face makes him slightly sexy. What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be angry at this animal who hit me. He is a savage, not fit to be around humans he had the guts to hit me. That's it, I'm gone. I'll pack up and leave.

So she wants to leave? I am Finished. I am pleading, lying down, holding her leg, pleading for forgiveness. I have promised never to allow it happen again, I don't want her to leave. I love her, she is my rock. Whenever I need to be inspired she is the one I run to. How do I breathe without my heart? She has stood still after the initial struggle when I first lay down to hold her. I can taste blood in my mouth, her leg might have caused me a wound on my lip but I don't care, I want my baby. I can feel her gaze on my head, she has always said I have a nice 'ogo', I hope she sees it and forgives me. I want my baby.

This man is a comedian. He has followed me to the room and  is lying flat face down hugging my leg, begging. See me see trouble. I don't want to be beaten again, I want to go. I'll just stand here till he is tired. I struggled earlier and it yielded nothing. So I'll just stand her until he is tired. My ushering skills will come into play here. See his big head, he has this nicely shaped head and his 'ogo' is missing. I have always teased him about it, now I am tripping again. What kind of trouble is this one. This man should leave me let me get going. I can't stay. 

For reasons I can't say I am in the kitchen. I have left her in the room. I am tired. I love her but I have been pleading since I got back, I don't want her to leave but I am tired. I came to have a glass of water and after having it I just couldn't go back. We have an agreement not to call in third-parties during issues, so I can't even do that now. What do I do, I am tired of begging but I can't let her go.

So this man calmly left me and went away. Fantastic. He has someone else, because I don't see why he'll leave me here in the middle of this crisis and quietly walk away. He is supposed to be begging rolling on the floor promising heaven and earth while begging. He stood up. I noticed a tiny blood spot on his lip, I might have wounded him during the struggle. Well that serves him right. So off I go. He'll pay for this. He hit me and didn't even beg.

Her car just rolled out, I begged again, this time I tried to stop her. I was afraid of touching her so I won't seem violent. But she left. I watched her reverse the car almost hitting me. My life is gone, my heart is gone. What am I to live for.

OK I am supposed to be driving but I can't see. Tears have almost ruined my vision. What do I do? I don't want to leave him, I have taught him a lesson. He won't do it again, I know him well. I have never seen him like this before. I'll go home. We'll work this out. We always do. 

The house seems too quiet, where is this man? He is supposed to be on the sofa in the living room crying. Is he really remorseful? 
Our bed room door is shut. This is the only place he has to be. If I open this door we are back together. We'll talk about what happened, I'll tell him I forgive him we'll kiss and make up. Why am I smiling now. I hate myself sometimes. 

What is this? What is this man up to?! 'Help!!!' I scream. I ran up to him and lifted him. 'Help!!!' Somebody help me!

I wanted to end it, what was life without her. She left, that meant my heart was gone. I had become my own hang man. Her skipping rope and the ceiling fan had come in handy. It didn't leave a knot. I wasn't thinking. I guess it was the end. I wanted to leave without drama. I am light, I feel dizzy. This has to be heaven. Its white and quiet. Not as quiet and quiet as I expected. I keep hearing a beeping sound what's that sound. Wait, that's not heaven, its a hospital, oh great! Now I am still alive, I didn't escape. How did I get here.

He wanted to take his own life? Do I mean that much to him? Thank God for our neighbor what will I have said. I would have lost my lover, my friend and husband because I wanted to prove a point. No doubt he was wrong but he had shown he was sorry. I went too far.
Now I know for sure he loves me. We will go all the way together I am sure now. He hasn't opened his eyes yet. I have called both our families, no one is here yet, though. I didn't say what happened I just said he was sick. No need for the alarms. The nurse has asked me to come in that he is awake now. I have prayed, its time to have the moment. 
'I am sorry, I took it too far forgive me, I love you'.

She is here, I want to keep begging and apologize for wanting to take my life. I try to speak, but I am too weak. She is on her knees, she is sorry. Wait sorry for what? Did she hit me? I can't talk but I motion for her to seat. I gave a thumbs up. She has kissed me. We are back!!! We can never be broken.

He can't talk, he looks so weak. Before I finished my sentence he had a thumbs up, our little thing for saying 'all was well' I bent over to kiss him. We are back!!! We can't be broken, this I know.


Written by
Peter Amayo (@PeterAmayo)



photo credit: *Paddy* via photopin cc

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