Find X


It has been twelve years since the movie "Finding Nemo" was released, y'all remember that one right? This piece is not even about Nemo, it’s about "finding", yea the whole process of discovery. It’s also about Nemo (but what did I just say?). 

Nemo; a clown fish who was taken from the big deep dark ocean by scuba divers and was sold to an Aquarium owner in Sydney, Australia. Difficult variables from the get go! But still his dear father, who of course is a fish(yea, how did I know?) named Marlin, swarm miles, encountered sharks, was swallowed by a whale, was met by a smack of jellyfish, was chased by a colony of sea gulls, just in a bid to FIND his son, some real fish loyalty. In the words of Kendrick Lamar - this can't be life; so it was animated, yea. The travails we go through to find that part of us that we very well cannot do without, unreal!

Sorta like finding X, your perfect pair, the evita, your fire cracker, your heartthrob! You notice how hard that has gotten in these contemporary times? Almost like God has stopped creating Eves for Adams. So these days all we see are make-shift relationships where people who are really not meant for each other decide to settle; maybe because like a thief, age is creeping up, mostly a reproach for them ladies. Then there's the financial factor, which I believe in, marriage is no grounds for suffering. Then more recently, the unwanted pregnancy has dragged undecided doubles down the aisle, still a beautiful sight nonetheless.

You know, lately I was speaking to a friend of mine who has left his dating life for fate to decide. He was of the opinion that at the moment any girl will do, as far as she can bear daughters that he can train to have sense unlike the girls of today (these were his words, I’m just reporting). Before you call me Drake, let’s stick with just finding X.

In Math, X is usually the unknown variable, the missing item, the quantity needed to complete, the… *darn* I just realized I was never good at Math (my teacher’s fault of course), but since you’re reading my piece that definition should suffice. We get it wrong when we tag our life equation as incomplete until we find the X. Since we are more complicated than mathematical equations, the only way to find our best pair would be to first feel and be complete, then when complete, we go out and find another “complete” individual and …kaboom! Fusion! Bliss! Math class is over. You complete you, that’s my point, the X only complements the whole package that is you. Back to class, In Physics (Magnetism), opposite poles attract, like poles do the opposite of attract obviously, but in human relationships, this rule we flaw since we aren’t magnets obviously. So who do we attract? Only our “type”, so you hear phrases like “we have so much in common”. You want the perfect X, be the perfect X. So when next you think you need someone to make you complete (because you consider yourself incomplete), think about the incomplete needy person you would definitely attract. As opposed to Arithmetic where half plus half equals one, two incomplete persons do not make a whole, what you get is two people taking each other down quicker than  US forces took down Obama, waitttt! Osama.

When we don’t get to work or class on time, we blame the government for bad roads; when we don’t make good grades, we blame the lecturer; when our favorite football team loses, the referee (or Wenger), when I couldn’t complete this article on time, NEPA (I don’t care about their new name(s)). When are we going to start taking responsibilities for our troubles? When are we going to start blaming ourselves for failed relationships? Before you frown and start talking about the last ‘monster’ you were in a relationship with, ask yourself if you had a gun to your head before you got on the devil's yacht with no knowledge on how to swim. Did you say he/she changed? Yes, humans change but we never really deviate too far from our original selves. So again, the problem is with us. When we repair ourselves, X becomes easy to find.

 I know you may still be tempted to think finding the perfect partner is harder than locating Hogwarts, it’s actually easier muggles. Be the person you want to find (or find you), and with a lil speed on your side, you just might not end up with someone who’s been with everybody.

Written by: John JV Iyoha (@JonHelsing)

Edited by: Kenneth Iguodala (@KennethDala)

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13 thoughts

  1. Wow, something to spice my morning!

    Thanks Aby, how have u been?

    1. You're welcome Eedris...I've been great, hope you have too :)

  2. So enlightening. That last part 'we change but we do not really deviate from who we really are' that hit me. Funny how this is addressing current situation in my life rn

  3. Please, check out


  4. Really insightful...Thanks for sharing Aby

  5. lukman isa mona3/14/2015 09:32:00 am

    Woooow!!! Can't believe mah nigga dropd dis dope shiiii...ben carson in d making. ..or so lol

  6. Lovely read.......Was fun and tooooo True! Funny how in the last week I have had to give relationship talks and this fact ' about been perfect first and then your perfect naturally stroll your way 'unaided' always end (more or less) my speeches...

    Cool article! Twas fun and I found myself almost laughing at some point.

  7. Nice one bro... spot on!!!

  8. Yo..fam dis article so cool..awesome
    Dint know u write

  9. oddly inspiring

  10. Awesome write up,totally relatable. John 👏👏👏

  11. Spot on 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

  12. Great read. So on point. All true. Deep.


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