It was raining
when I got back home at about 6 pm.
I had a really long day at the office. I barely settled in when
I decided to call him.
I dialed his number countless times and got no
response. Where could he be? Knowing me and my restlessness, I called him
every 15 minutes till I got tired and my overactive imagination came
alive.
If I think too long and too hard about
something bothering me, I start to feel weak and I lose appetite,
especially if it is about someone I am emotionally attached to *sigh*
I've had issues trusting Tunde for a while now.
He went from being this really disciplined and well behaved man to being very
care-free and overly flirty with women. People really do change, probably
because of the new town and environment he works in. Honestly, I don't know.
Tunde came into my life and made me a better
person. I saw how disciplined and straightforward he was, and I craved to be
like him, he restored my hope in men of this world. I tried everyday to be
better because of him, yea yea...don't give me that look, I know I should have
wanted to be better for ME but yea, that's how it started.
Over time I made progress, I started shaping
myself to be the woman I wanted to be, but there was a problem, my dear Tunde
was changing. I can't go into all the details now, but I think I caused him to
change. That is another story I just might write on another day.
A few years down the line, we're both living and
working in different cities. We go months without seeing each other and when we
do, it's only for a couple of days...call it a long distance relationship of some
sorts. It is hard...very hard! But I pray about it and put in every strength I
have into making things work.
On one of the few occasions we saw...before I
continue, let me sound this loud and clear Ladies! DO NOT go through your man's
phone! You just 'might' get heartbroken if you're unlucky *sigh* anyway, back to my story. On one of the few occasions we saw, enveloped by boredom, I went through his phone, I saw things
I wasn't ready to see, things I didn't believe I was seeing. A bitter
pill to swallow, but it was staring right at me. My sweet love Tunde, my sweet
loyal Tunde had somehow turned a new leaf, unfortunately it was the wrong
side of the leaf. I was immediately filled with fear, disappointment, anger, insecurity and most of all,
sadness.
We somehow managed to go through the next few
days as peacefully and as lovingly as possible. In case you are wondering if I confronted him, yes I confronted him. You want to know what he said abi? Don't be an amebo! Must you know
everything?
See ehn, I love Tunde, and I always will, even if we
don't stay together parting only by death, he will always have a place in my
heart. I am sure some of you are wondering why I didn't dump his ass, well, na
una sabi! I know the man I met, and I know this behavior is temporary. Men like
Tunde are rare, I ain't about to give up on him just like that. You want to know
more about Tunde? Maybe i'll tell you, if you can convince me to write
more.
Reluctantly, I departed his city a few days
later, maybe I was expecting too much...but I somehow needed an assurance from him that
he was going to be faithful to me, that I had nothing to worry about. Maybe I wanted to hear it everyday, I don't
know...but it just seemed like he didn't try, or didn't try hard enough. At
some point, it seemed like he forgot about the whole thing...forgot that, well,
he was supposed to help me trust him again. I have a very dangerous mind, I
think a lot...and his lack of...interest or effort, did things to me, it messed
with my mind a lot... I was unhappy.
Somehow we made it to this day without properly tackling the trust
issues...trust issues that may be from both sides, but that is another story
that I may tell another day. It is possible to rebuild trust in a relationship, I know it is! So I won't give up, not yet anyway.
It is now 11 pm and oga has still not picked up his calls, I dey go sleep abeg, I cannot come and go and kee mysef with hypertension.
Oh, by the way, you can call me The Addicted, and I'm addicted to love, life and laughter...and yes, Tunde (sue me!)
Labels: Guest post, Rants and Bants, Writers' Vault
