This is an issue I haven't quite understood yet, Please ignore the fact that i'm a lady and i'm saying this. Why do most ladies leave the nice guys and go for the guys that treat them like crap? It really does baffle me, because these nice guys are usually the "all-in-one package" of an ideal man, could there be something missing?
Why do girls sentence the nice guys to the friend zone and focus their attention on the douche's? Mind you, the friend zone is just one of the many zones, the other most popular zones are the brother zone e.g. "ah, I can't date you nau, you're just like a brother to me" and the helper zone "hey John, can you come help me with my assignment/work/xyz?" Meanwhile our bros is dying silently in love with her and she uses this knowledge to her advantage.
So why do nice guys lose this battle against the friend zone? Why do they get sucked in, struggling, kicking and screaming, even without the consolation of "benefits"?
After much pondering, I coincidentally stumbled upon an article, and I finally understood why. Based on my own understanding, I'm going to tell the nice guys what they are doing/not doing to cause themselves to be sentenced to the zone.
Let me quickly state, some ladies actually like nice guys, although such females may seem to be non-existent, secondly, the friend zone is not a bad place! I don't know why you guys complain so much about it *shrugs* Everybody can't be in the dating zone #JustSaying.
So all i'm about to share with you are those things that increase your chances of the friend zone and reduce your chances of the dating zone.
Not making the first move or any move for that matter
Dear Mr. Nice guy, a lady would prefer you to make the first move. You may think it gentlemanly to wait for her to give you a sign that she's interested before you try, but by doing this, you're only succeeding in making her think you're too nervous, timid and don't have the balls to make a move. A lady wants someone who displays confidence and who isn't afraid to do things at the risk of rejection.
Putting all your eggs in one basket
Being the nice, caring, sensitive and thoughtful guy that you are, you probably give all your attention to one lady at a time. Now, it isn't a bad thing to know what you want and go for it, but in a case where you're not getting the response you want, you don't have to build house and settle on top her matter because you're being patient and persistent. It will appear like you're too "soft" to try for more than one girl at a time so get out there and check your other options. Who knows, your dream lady might just realize she's in love with you when she sees you with another lady, yea, females can be crazy like that.
Being easily persuaded
Hey Mr. Nice guy, ladies like when you give them at least a little bit of a hard time before giving in to a request, even if she's the hottest goddess on the planet, suppress the urge to do all her bidding please! When you do things for people, things you really don't want to do, you come across as a not being able to stand up for what you want, a pushover. To you, it's called being nice and caring and loving, but nah, it doesn't work that way. Ladies don't want to date a (i'm really sorry for this but...) they don't want to date a doormat *sigh*
Avoiding confrontation/conflict
Listen to me Mr. Nice guy, if you are upset, angry or if something is bothering you, please speak up! Do not keep it to yourself, don't make it seem like people can treat you badly and easily get away with it. See ehn! Your dream girl will use this to her advantage, she will treat you like trash! Please tell me again why she should consider dating you. Ladies like when you're man enough to call them out on their bs.
Can't handle rejection
Dear Mr. Nice guy, wake up and smell the brewing coffee, rejection is inevitable! Learn to 'fabricate' a thick skin and deal with it. Try not to sulk, at least not for too long, before you get back out there. Don't cower in the corner in fear of rejection.
Always apologizing
Okay, it's good to show that you're sincerely sorry about something, but excessive and unnecessary apologies can get irritating! Ladies might think it's really cute and adorable but honestly, they are unconsciously repulsed, trust me I know this, you will be seen as not confident and insecure. Not every time apologize for every little thing, sometimes laugh and joke about it.
Don't have any other qualities
I think this is a no-brainer. A lady won't consider you if all you have to offer is your niceness. On the scale of preference/consideration in the search of a man, niceness is definitely not at the top of the list. What other qualities do you possess?
Being shy
I think this is a very common issue with the nice guys, they are mostly shy and timid. Being shy can seriously affect your dating life, as you may appear like you lack confidence and have low self esteem. This can be worked on, put in the effort to come out of your shell.
So that's all I've got, you may or may not agree with what I've said...infact i'm expecting objections. So let me hear them, please share your thoughts in the comments below, thank you for taking time out to read my post! :)
Truly yours,
Labels: Relationships
